Just one stamp

When did a trip to the post office become just like a visit to the used car lot?

“I want to mail this paper from here to there. I want it to arrive in a reasonable amount of time.”

After the hand-off, Screen 1 popped up with option after mailing option - the most expensive at the top, of course.

Then the auctioneer started (a new skill of the postal employee).

“We can get it there overnight for $10 or 2 day priority for $8 with free confirmation or 3 days and 2 nights in 12 years for $100 if there’s a full moon and a good tail wind or…”

A dumbfounded, “Just regular mail, please.”

She didn't like it, but clicked to Screen 2. “We have 5 days priority with confirmation for $5 or 5 days non-priority for $4 or 6 days in hell for….”

“Regular mail, please.”

She hesitated long enough for a glare and then loudly hit the keys to get to Screen 5 of my options, obviously disgusted with my choice of the postal cheap seats.

“$2 for regular mail. Do you need insurance or confirmation or receipt of...”

“Regular mail, PLEASE.”

“Fine, I'm sure you know best. $2.07, please. Do you need stamps or boxes or any other mailing materials or a car wash or a blow dry or paper or plastic or fries…”

The crickets are still chirping in my head. I hope my letter makes it from here to there in a reasonable amount of time.