Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I am a 43-year-old girl in Indianapolis. I have been very good this year. Well, except for one or two outbursts on the highway, but that’s not important.

I hope you and Mrs. Claus are fine and everyone at the North Pole is helping you get ready for your trip Sunday night.

There is only one thing I want for Christmas this year, Santa. Please, please, please don’t let Hillary Clinton run for President. I don’t think I can stand listening to her talk and talk and talk and continue to say nothing for the next two years. Haven’t we all had enough, Santa? Please make her go away. I just want to scream in her stupid, stupid face. I know that's not nice, but I can't help it. She's bad, Santa, just bad. Maybe you have a job at the North Pole she could do. Clean the elves' bathrooms or something? She’s not very good at individual thought, so anything mindless would be perfect. She'll pretend to demand health care and pesky things like that, but she'll never follow through, so don't worry about anything she says really even mattering. And she loves villages, so that’s a plus, too, Santa!

And, Santa, I know you’re busy and it is a lot to ask, so if you can’t do this, I’ll understand. But if she does run and win, can you please find me a hut in Tahiti to move to? I won’t live through it, I swear, Santa. Please, I beg of you.

Thank you, Santa. I love you. Do the right thing.

Your friend,