I recently read an article listing things that we parents should know about our children. Things like knowing the names of their best friends, the names of their favorite teachers, the things they were most proud of, the places they'd most like to visit, the books they were currently reading, and their greatest disappointments in life.
I felt like a pretty good parent because I knew every answer, but one. I did not know my son's greatest disappointment. We have been through divorce, death, and significant moves to different states, so I assumed it would be something related to one of these. Or possibly something more recent like not making first string on the football team or not getting into Honor's Chemistry class this year. I knew it would be something that hurt him, something that he'd be quiet about, something he'd mention softly while looking at the floor and immediately go to his room about, so I hesitated to ask him. But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to know.
"Is there anything in your life that has been a real disappointment for you? Something that has upset you, that you wished could have been different, something that stays in the back of your mind but sometimes still upsets you or makes you sad?"
I could tell he took my question seriously. He really seemed deep in thought for at least a second or two.
Then, he looked me in the eye and said "Actually, yea, there is something....'90s pop music."
I've chosen to let it go and add another notch on my "I'm a good mom" belt just for trying to ask a 15-year-old a serious question.