What the f-heck is going on with Paul Newman’s Mango Salsa in this town? It’s not at Kroger, it’s not at Marsh, it’s not at Meier, it’s not at Trader Joes, it’s not at Wild Oats. Every other flavor – bean and corn, pineapple, peach, what have you – but no mango. It’s maddening. It’s discrimination. Or maybe it’s just me – sure wouldn’t be the first time.
The only place I CAN find it is Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart! I feel about Wal-Mart the way private school parents feel about public school kids: no good can come from being that close to the unwashed.
I guess I’ll buy a case this afternoon, after I drink lunch to steel myself for the trip. I must “man up”, because I could literally drink this stuff. I’d like to think it’s the good-for-me lycopene in the tomatoes and the fruity goodness of the mango bits, but I’m pretty sure it’s the high fructose corn syrup. YUM!!
So, when I get home this afternoon, first a shower to wash off the grime, of course, and then a dinner of mango salsa and chips, looking at a cartoon drawing of Paul Newman (I eat right out of the jar for this reason) and knowing that, beyond my instant gratification, my $1.96 per-jar/$23.52 per-case contribution to his causes outweighs my sacrifice.