You know you’re having a bad driver’s license renewal day when:
The Neanderthal behind you in the check-in line uses his outside voice on his 15-minute personal phone call to his buddy about how lax his week has been. And when you turn around to mention to him that it sounds like he has plenty of time to make this call anywhere but within six inches of your left ear, he just responds with a goofy smile and a wink, because he understands how impressed you really must be.
- You count four female butt cracks in the pack of riffraff.
- The photographer snaps your picture, looks at it on the computer, and says, “Um. No. Let’s try again.” And repeats this process FOUR TIMES.
- You arrive and leave on the same page of the book you brought to avoid encounters with undesirables.
- You look at your picture when you’re alone in your car and understand the problem: old and angry, a combination impossible to camouflage.